Last Saturday died one of the closest friends I've ever had. It seems she was tired to leave and decided to kill herself. Since I knew about it (Saturday a bit before midnight) I've been in a sad mood. Lots of memories of happy moments together came to my mind... Memories about how it used to be, how she used to be a happy girl who was always cheering up people, especially me.
When we met I was being bullied big time. Going to school was just thinking what kind of new humiliations would I have to bear that day. I don't know if she decided to be kind to me because she felt pity or because she saw something in me, the thing is that she took all the work of approaching me and making me open up to somebody. It was a beautiful rescue, the way only a girl can do... She and her boyfriend became my best friends. It's funny when I remember I always took her side (mentally, I'd never put myself in the middle of a couple unless asked). With her I learnt how friendship really worked, I was amazed at how well we could manage to understand each other...
And well, although it had been 6 years since we had lost more or less touch of each other, I still felt her close. I don't know if she did the same with me... The last time we met, in a dinner with other classmates last Christmas, we wound up sitting at the same side of the table and talking as if time hadn't passed. But we didn't go farther from there. We said we would call to have a cup of coffee together, but neither of us decided to ring the other... I guess it must be life.
This post is my tribute to her. To the cheerful girl with a room full of Hello Kitty (yes, Kitty was there much before Akane joined our lives) and Keroppi. To the nice girl who would listen or who wouldn't doubt to call and ask for help. May she rest in piece...
Birthday and some other things
Yes, now I'm a year older. And as always happens with me things weren't perfect, even in a situation when they were bound to be. I mean, I screwed well my own birthday partying by getting drunk. Gosh! Being drunk for the first time at this age... It is just embarrassing! But my body decided to alcohol in a different way that it used to! Might be because of the weight I've been losing these months? I mean, I'm not slim, but I've managed to lose 5 kilos in 2 months (yes, I know it's not much, but it's a good start point!) I won't say my weight... You don't ask those things to a lady like me... Anyway it isn't something to be proud about.
Apart of that little incident, my birthday weekend went well. Many people remembered. My olds didn't notice I got home drunk and the next day I was OK again. With a big headache (although I had had the headache for a day or so, so I don't know if it was just the same one or a new one). The thing is that Sunday with the family went well. Thanks God! I've received some gifts, and I'm still waiting for some more.
But even despite all I've said I'm in a good mood. Things at home are better than they used to. Fewer arguments, I feel the sour mood I had has gone away... Things managed to get very bad sometime between my last post and this one. I felt like having little to do in this world... I don't know if it had something to do with being at home 24/7 now, but I'm glad all that is over. And even more knowing it hasn't affected the way I've been with my closest people. I would have felt really bad if some of my very special girls have felt hurt because of that.
I guess that's something you get from pretending all the time. Pretending to be the person others want you to be so they don't get hurt. Playing the role my family expects me to play. Gosh, how I wish I could end this masquerade. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day...
My project is going on, very slow, but going on... I had some trouble 'taking down to Earth' all what I had learnt from the high pile of books I had to read... But I guess soon I'll be able to schedule another meeting with my tutor to show him what I've been doing. Having granny ill doesn't help me go faster. I mean, I'm happy auntie does all the housework, but whenever she needs anything she calls me. It's the bad thing of being the 'nice one' of the family. Auntie has quite a temper and it's very easy to trigger it, you see.
Roleplaying is going really well. I did my 4000th post in MR and my 9000th in DX. And felicity is back with me in DX, which is something good. Plus I still have all those nice girls who like me and who I like with me. Preparing a wedding (mine) in DX is something that is focusing part of my efforts. There's so much to do! OMG! Hopefully it will be a lovely wedding. Full of love.
Well, I'm leaving. Soon it will be lunchtime, and I need to find some spare time to get a Halloween costume... And no, I won't take the chance for what you think... It wouldn't be suitable where I'm spending Halloween (what a pity!)
Camp girl
I think I had told you, a couple of weeks ago that I was going to go camping. It happened to be a bigger adventure than what I thought it would be... You can't expect much from something we organize for our children (well, they aren't children they're 15 to 22 years old) in our parish church... But RL beats any kind of thing you can imagine... This happened the second night we were there. We had a game boys vs girls related with music, but with some other things like sending pick up lines to the members of the other team and trying to guess who it goes to for instance...
We were preparing it during the afternoon/evening. I was in the boys team (just because that's the way I look like, I guess). I can tell I felt terribly not belonging there... They're sick. I mean, all the pick up lines they made were naughty... I made one of that class (you know, just to make them see I belonged there) and tried to make some softer (a bit corny even a couple of them) ones to try to change the image girl would have of them... But most of them were simply naughty anyway... They even didn't try to make one for their girlfriends (funny because a girl friend of mine whose boyfriend is one of my best friends got one of the soft ones written by me. I wonder what might she be thinking knowing it's me who wrote it...)
When the action began it was funny. The girls had punishments ready for us if we failed guessing who the pickup lines went to. That was something we didn't know, but learnt soon as we thought one of them was for somebody and missed... That person wound up all dolled up as a girl... And the girls really did a good job on it... Mine was easy. We guessed it without any kind of problem. I guess I'm the only one who is sweet there (The pick up line was "You're so sweet... Only looking at you makes my tee
th ache", or in Spanish "Eres tan dulce... que tan sólo con mirarte se me pican las muelas"). And the sender was a girl I didn't expect would do something like that... My kids and her groupmates hadn't had the best kind of relationship and I hadn't been able to make things better despite my tries... I guess she could see something of that, I don't know...
The thing is that we lost... Just for the fun, and knowing we would lose we had some PJs ready to put on... Mine is the one in the picture... It isn't the kind of thing I'd buy, but bearing in mind some of my friends were bigger than me, we were lucky to find something suiting them (Gosh, I need to lose some weight too!)... I slept in it... Felt kind of nice. I don't know if the others did the same, but I have a hunch not all of us did... Anyway it's been a kind of funny experience...
Oops! I nearly forgot. Mine was the only one in that lilac (there were two in pink and two in baby blue too), so when we were showing the girls I was in the middle... We stopped some distance from them and after some seconds I raised to my tiptoes and walked crossing my legs on tiptoes (or in imaginary heels as you want to see it) towards them, gave a half twirl and then went to my room! I guess, I'm a bit naughty too, but I am not like my friends. I feel confident and comfy in girl's clothing (even though I don't have much... The place where I hide them is small). Simply beacuse I'm one...
I hope you enjoyed my adventure and sorry it's written in such a rushed style and and messy style...
We were preparing it during the afternoon/evening. I was in the boys team (just because that's the way I look like, I guess). I can tell I felt terribly not belonging there... They're sick. I mean, all the pick up lines they made were naughty... I made one of that class (you know, just to make them see I belonged there) and tried to make some softer (a bit corny even a couple of them) ones to try to change the image girl would have of them... But most of them were simply naughty anyway... They even didn't try to make one for their girlfriends (funny because a girl friend of mine whose boyfriend is one of my best friends got one of the soft ones written by me. I wonder what might she be thinking knowing it's me who wrote it...)
When the action began it was funny. The girls had punishments ready for us if we failed guessing who the pickup lines went to. That was something we didn't know, but learnt soon as we thought one of them was for somebody and missed... That person wound up all dolled up as a girl... And the girls really did a good job on it... Mine was easy. We guessed it without any kind of problem. I guess I'm the only one who is sweet there (The pick up line was "You're so sweet... Only looking at you makes my tee
th ache", or in Spanish "Eres tan dulce... que tan sólo con mirarte se me pican las muelas"). And the sender was a girl I didn't expect would do something like that... My kids and her groupmates hadn't had the best kind of relationship and I hadn't been able to make things better despite my tries... I guess she could see something of that, I don't know...The thing is that we lost... Just for the fun, and knowing we would lose we had some PJs ready to put on... Mine is the one in the picture... It isn't the kind of thing I'd buy, but bearing in mind some of my friends were bigger than me, we were lucky to find something suiting them (Gosh, I need to lose some weight too!)... I slept in it... Felt kind of nice. I don't know if the others did the same, but I have a hunch not all of us did... Anyway it's been a kind of funny experience...
Oops! I nearly forgot. Mine was the only one in that lilac (there were two in pink and two in baby blue too), so when we were showing the girls I was in the middle... We stopped some distance from them and after some seconds I raised to my tiptoes and walked crossing my legs on tiptoes (or in imaginary heels as you want to see it) towards them, gave a half twirl and then went to my room! I guess, I'm a bit naughty too, but I am not like my friends. I feel confident and comfy in girl's clothing (even though I don't have much... The place where I hide them is small). Simply beacuse I'm one...
I hope you enjoyed my adventure and sorry it's written in such a rushed style and and messy style...
Moody
Real life just goes the way it goes. I'm having more mood switches than usual... I can be listening to a song and be at the verge of tears (in fact making a nice effort to keep them in because I don't want to cause a scene) and 5 minutes later read a passage of a book or see something funny or nice and be smiling again having forgotten what made me feel sad before.
Things keep on going well, that's true... I had a B in that exam I made. It must be a sort of fashion, it's the only marks I get... I do something and feel it wasn't quite right... It gets a B. I do something else and feel it's superb... Still a B... Funny... Pretty funny. I'm not going to complain about it. It's better than just passing!
More good things... Yes, beach days and the nice tan I'm getting. On the night of the 24th, some friends and me put a couple of tents on the beach (I tried my best to help with that, but couldn't help much...), and spent the night there... There's a sort of tradition here, if you wash your face with sea water that night you become prettier during the year. Let's hope the tradition has some kind of basis. *Crosses fingers* After the face washing, we decided to swim a bit and splash water all around while we saw the fireworks. The water was warm (OK, it was midnight and that helps too).
I finished reading "Alice's adventures in Wonderland" this week too. Felt a bit frustrated about the nursery rhymes put the wrong way for some kind of fun purposes... I mean, it's only fun if you know what they are when said right... So somehow I missed part of the enjoyment, but still it was a very nice reading. And well, I can read in English an 'off-the-shel-book' which is something. It was a good rehab from reading engineering books. It wasn't the only book I read. I read one by a Spanish writer called Juan Jose Millás, and also The Little Prince. I loved the last one... It was amazing.
What else did happen? Ah, I have some pink earphones!! I will post a photo of them next time if you want, but I want you to see how they look more or less to let you have an idea. And they came with a little thingy to share your music with whoever wants to listen to what I'm listening... Which is simply great!!
And the sales have began. I haven't still been there, but I want to go... If I'm in the mood and find something nice and suitable for me, maybe I'll shop too...
Everything else keeps as nice as it was before. Even my roleplaying... I keep all my nice lovely stories like my engaging with Bambi, the Alice in Wonderland dream thread, my threads with all my friends, Corinne, Glenda, Penny, Akane... in LiL, or with Teena, felicity, Stephanie and some others in DX.
And the best is yet to come... I'm a Jr Exec in DX and I have Akane ready to give me some punishemnt (or maybe not) in MR... And who knows what else will be...
Things keep on going well, that's true... I had a B in that exam I made. It must be a sort of fashion, it's the only marks I get... I do something and feel it wasn't quite right... It gets a B. I do something else and feel it's superb... Still a B... Funny... Pretty funny. I'm not going to complain about it. It's better than just passing!
More good things... Yes, beach days and the nice tan I'm getting. On the night of the 24th, some friends and me put a couple of tents on the beach (I tried my best to help with that, but couldn't help much...), and spent the night there... There's a sort of tradition here, if you wash your face with sea water that night you become prettier during the year. Let's hope the tradition has some kind of basis. *Crosses fingers* After the face washing, we decided to swim a bit and splash water all around while we saw the fireworks. The water was warm (OK, it was midnight and that helps too).
I finished reading "Alice's adventures in Wonderland" this week too. Felt a bit frustrated about the nursery rhymes put the wrong way for some kind of fun purposes... I mean, it's only fun if you know what they are when said right... So somehow I missed part of the enjoyment, but still it was a very nice reading. And well, I can read in English an 'off-the-shel-book' which is something. It was a good rehab from reading engineering books. It wasn't the only book I read. I read one by a Spanish writer called Juan Jose Millás, and also The Little Prince. I loved the last one... It was amazing.
What else did happen? Ah, I have some pink earphones!! I will post a photo of them next time if you want, but I want you to see how they look more or less to let you have an idea. And they came with a little thingy to share your music with whoever wants to listen to what I'm listening... Which is simply great!!
And the sales have began. I haven't still been there, but I want to go... If I'm in the mood and find something nice and suitable for me, maybe I'll shop too...
Everything else keeps as nice as it was before. Even my roleplaying... I keep all my nice lovely stories like my engaging with Bambi, the Alice in Wonderland dream thread, my threads with all my friends, Corinne, Glenda, Penny, Akane... in LiL, or with Teena, felicity, Stephanie and some others in DX.
And the best is yet to come... I'm a Jr Exec in DX and I have Akane ready to give me some punishemnt (or maybe not) in MR... And who knows what else will be...
All niceties!
Lots of nice things going on... It's funny, just when you think things can't get better, they do get better!! And in many ways... In the church I'm in, we're preparing the summer camp for our kids this year (nothing too fancy, just three days). The thing is that I made a kind of silly suggestion of making it based on popular fantasy stories and fairytales as a sort of evasion from reality and the crisis and all that and they bought it! And as my life has been revolving strangely around fantasy and especially around Alice's adventures in Wonderland (I have even a thread with my Lacy alt), I decided to get the book in English (luckily it costed me peanuts!).
This weekend I didn't go to the beach. I don't know, I didn't feel in the mood of going... Just stayed at home and watched some TV (which is something I don't do usually). Anyway I'm sure to get a nice tan by the end of the summer. :)
And my studies are going well. I finished reading a robotics book I had to read for my project (that's part of the reasons why I went to buy the Alice's one. I need some rehab from reading engineering books in English. Yuck!). And although today I was supposed to know the marks for the only exam I had to do, I don't know them yet (one of the subjects that was just a little lab work went better than I thought and I got a B. Yay!).
And I'm still looking at how the prices of laptops go to see if I can buy one. It's funny, an engineering student without an internet connection at home and a laptop... Ssssssh, don't tell people in the engineering association! LOL
So, you see. No time for shopping (well, let's say I'm waiting for the sales). And no partying because I'm in this kind of fake holidays, but my friends are still doing exams... But doing nice.
Even roleplaying. I'm now in the stories I like (maybe a bit too much for the online time I have), with the people I like. The engagement with Bambi for instance has become a pretty story. And people seem to like the video I made for her (I was in doubt at the beginning because I though you would feel it's corny). And I'm enjoying Maths class with Akane or my thread in Josephine's office with her and Monica.
DX keeps on going like always. Lots of threads, lots of classes. Teena and me...
So you see, maybe all the references about Alice in Wonderland were right. Maybe I'm just Nicci in wonderland... At least, in the closest you can get to Wonderland these days... If only the couple of things I want to go well too, were as I want...
This weekend I didn't go to the beach. I don't know, I didn't feel in the mood of going... Just stayed at home and watched some TV (which is something I don't do usually). Anyway I'm sure to get a nice tan by the end of the summer. :)
And my studies are going well. I finished reading a robotics book I had to read for my project (that's part of the reasons why I went to buy the Alice's one. I need some rehab from reading engineering books in English. Yuck!). And although today I was supposed to know the marks for the only exam I had to do, I don't know them yet (one of the subjects that was just a little lab work went better than I thought and I got a B. Yay!).
And I'm still looking at how the prices of laptops go to see if I can buy one. It's funny, an engineering student without an internet connection at home and a laptop... Ssssssh, don't tell people in the engineering association! LOL
So, you see. No time for shopping (well, let's say I'm waiting for the sales). And no partying because I'm in this kind of fake holidays, but my friends are still doing exams... But doing nice.
Even roleplaying. I'm now in the stories I like (maybe a bit too much for the online time I have), with the people I like. The engagement with Bambi for instance has become a pretty story. And people seem to like the video I made for her (I was in doubt at the beginning because I though you would feel it's corny). And I'm enjoying Maths class with Akane or my thread in Josephine's office with her and Monica.
DX keeps on going like always. Lots of threads, lots of classes. Teena and me...
So you see, maybe all the references about Alice in Wonderland were right. Maybe I'm just Nicci in wonderland... At least, in the closest you can get to Wonderland these days... If only the couple of things I want to go well too, were as I want...
Flipa!!
Consider this a kind of Spanish popular culture information. I usually see a TV programme which is really good (it won the Rose D'Or this year). It's really weird, I mean, you can't describe it because it's never the same way. There are also surprises...
Well, the thing is that they have a 'science' section which is done by a guy whose nickname is Flipy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4HPQ-KDvsE
(The guy is the one dressed as Newton in that video... )
Or this one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSR69SBieSQ&feature=related
The curious thing is that he sometimes comes dressed as a girl. And then he is Flipa!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5ATdsORL9M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEczRuFiTgc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cmFUZ8bDEQ&feature=related
Anyway it's awesome! At least, I love it... More when he's dressed as a girl, of course... ;)
P.S: Sorry about the videos. They're in Spanish!
Well, the thing is that they have a 'science' section which is done by a guy whose nickname is Flipy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4HPQ-KDvsE
(The guy is the one dressed as Newton in that video... )
Or this one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSR69SBieSQ&feature=related
The curious thing is that he sometimes comes dressed as a girl. And then he is Flipa!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5ATdsORL9M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEczRuFiTgc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cmFUZ8bDEQ&feature=related
Anyway it's awesome! At least, I love it... More when he's dressed as a girl, of course... ;)
P.S: Sorry about the videos. They're in Spanish!
Last exam? and some more things...
I just left my last exam (well, it was like a couple of hours ago, but I wanted to reply to all the threads I'm in first). And I think it went well... It felt kind of different... I mean, I was trying to enjoy all the feelings to make it a nice ending (although it isn't a real ending, I have to do my project to finish the degree). Trying to get a nice memory, and I didn't leave the exam thinking I had done wrong (which is what happens most times. Although it's true most of those time I pass, funny isn't it?). So it seems it's likely to be true...
Now a summer to look forward to. And for the first time without any kind of worries. It's the first time I manage to pass all my subjects by this time (It's true they were fewer and easier than other years, but I made it!). I'll just enjoy of some time off... But that's tricky too, because I won't be able to be online as much as I'd like to... And not only because of the beach time and such (Glenda knows well about sunbathing in Spain... ;))) but also because I don't have a connection at home...
I hope to be able to connect in my lab time and to be able to multitask well. And as I'm lucky and my project is only simulation (I won't have to deal with a real robot... Being the clumsy I am the robot would have been worse behaved than Bender!), that will shorten the time I expect to be in it.
I haven't had time to do any shopping or any sort of thing. In fact I have just been focusing on getting things right, and helping my 7 years old sister (one day my parents will have to thank me for saving them from spending a lot of money on nannies!). You know, helping her with Maths (hopefully not Lily ones) and English and Spanish... It's almost like going back to school... If you add that she goes to the school I used to go... You can imagine.
And my roleplaying life is really nice... I'm afraid I'm not paying enough atention to Lacy, but Nicole is absorbing almost my whole time... I'm Nicole N. now (guess where the N comes from? LOL) , and soon you'll see my new signature which is really special... And something I have ready for Bambi in our engagement... And I am learning from mom (in case you didn't get it with the first clue!) Maths and History... And getting in trouble with her too somewhere else... I can't complain, I have a lot of nice stories and I'm surrounded by a lot of nice people.
In DX too, because I am with my sweet Teena! And that's all I need. Apart from the teaching and some other stories I have...
I just wish you all a nice day...
Now a summer to look forward to. And for the first time without any kind of worries. It's the first time I manage to pass all my subjects by this time (It's true they were fewer and easier than other years, but I made it!). I'll just enjoy of some time off... But that's tricky too, because I won't be able to be online as much as I'd like to... And not only because of the beach time and such (Glenda knows well about sunbathing in Spain... ;))) but also because I don't have a connection at home...
I hope to be able to connect in my lab time and to be able to multitask well. And as I'm lucky and my project is only simulation (I won't have to deal with a real robot... Being the clumsy I am the robot would have been worse behaved than Bender!), that will shorten the time I expect to be in it.
I haven't had time to do any shopping or any sort of thing. In fact I have just been focusing on getting things right, and helping my 7 years old sister (one day my parents will have to thank me for saving them from spending a lot of money on nannies!). You know, helping her with Maths (hopefully not Lily ones) and English and Spanish... It's almost like going back to school... If you add that she goes to the school I used to go... You can imagine.
And my roleplaying life is really nice... I'm afraid I'm not paying enough atention to Lacy, but Nicole is absorbing almost my whole time... I'm Nicole N. now (guess where the N comes from? LOL) , and soon you'll see my new signature which is really special... And something I have ready for Bambi in our engagement... And I am learning from mom (in case you didn't get it with the first clue!) Maths and History... And getting in trouble with her too somewhere else... I can't complain, I have a lot of nice stories and I'm surrounded by a lot of nice people.
In DX too, because I am with my sweet Teena! And that's all I need. Apart from the teaching and some other stories I have...
I just wish you all a nice day...
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